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I still love my Heavenly Father and my Savior. If you can only think of alcohol and coffee for a good time, you're very disappointed. You all are strong for staying but I just don't see how it is possible long term to live like this. This can keep the relationship from getting too exclusive, and spending time with more people can give you a wider variety of things to do. There is NO guarantee that marrying a returned missionary RM in the temple equates with love and happiness. But what does it really mean to be a patriarch, to lead your tribe. He is truly my soulmate and I shudder to think that if I had not chosen to marry outside of the church, I would not have had this life with him. If you end up marrying a true believing Mormon, your marriage will be a threesome. I have been married to my doctor husband for 36 years. If you are willing to wait, then well and good; otherwise, it is best to move on.